red in the morning...

One benefit to having to leave for work at the crack of dawn are the winter sunrises.

This morning I witnessed an incredible palette of magentas, oranges and yellows quietly streaking across the early morning sky. It was almost as if Someone had taken a paintbrush and laid a multilayered color wash with watercolors.

health q&a

Q. I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A. Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...Don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q. Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A. You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What do cows eat? Hay, grass and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q. Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A. No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine. That means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of barley, hops and grain. Bottoms up!

Q. How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A. Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q. What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A. Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q. Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. And how could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q. Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A. Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q. Is chocolate bad for me?
A. Are you crazy? HELLO. Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q. Is swimming good for your figure?
A. If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q. Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A. Hey! "Round" is a shape!

reflection

Sometimes you have to let go to see if there was anything worth holding on to.

vent

"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”

just keep swimming, just keep swimming...

I love to get out there and get the blood moving.

In theory.

In reality it's much harder to do - I talk myself out of exercise all the time. The fact is that I'm conflicted. Despite my lazy attitude, I am addicted to how I felt last year. Laugh as you may, in 2005 I joined Good Samaritan's Bridal Bootcamp. We met three times a week for twelve weeks and let me tell you, it was the best feeling ever. I did the session three times before my wedding in August 2004 and I dropped tens of inches and 20 lbs. I am their greatest advocate!

Now I'm seeking to regain that without having to make the trek out to Good Sam. With my new job directly north of me instead of to the east (which made Good Sam on my way home) it's just not going to work. Plus the cost has increased by more than 30% which is good for them and not so much for me.

So when I actually do get myself going, it's usually on my own. The group exercise at bootcamp showed me that I really do get results when I'm being motivated (yelled at), but I just can't seem to carry that over when I'm on my own. It's not so much the physical challenge - I really enjoy pushing myself to my limit. The mental challenge is more difficult. As my cousin aptly said, it feels somewhat pointless. I find my mind wanders and I'm not engaged with the activity that my body is doing. So physical exercise is a mental exercise for me. Now that I own an iPod I will attempt to keep my mind focused through music and rhythm. A focused distraction technique, if you will.

I have been doing Pilates at home right now, during the cold(er) months, and I have occasionally hit the trail with a friend. In fact, Rachael and I just ran four miles together on the Prairie Preserve last week. Of course, I couldn't move the next day. And she told me I run fast - which I find to be a joke because I felt I was holding her back.

I will run the Shamrock Shuffle this year. It's one of my cultivations and my dad, Rachael and I will be attempting it together. For my dad, it will be a breeze - after all he has run countless marathons in his life and he has run for as long as I can remember. I can't speak for Rachael. But I know that it will give me the same sense of satisfaction that I felt when I completed the Elvis is Alive 5k in 2003. If nothing else, I can just repeat Dory's line over and over to keep myself going: just keep swimming, just keep swimming.

soundtrack of my life

Cannot Be Trusted's recents posts have had me reflecting on my own music tastes lately. I'm pretty eclectic in my tastes - I love songs, melodies and words that stir my heart and awaken my emotions. Rock, pop, classic tunes, and yes, country and (gasp) classical music including opera - music from various ages all make the cut for me.

In amongst all this wierd taste there's a group of music that I hold particularly close to my heart, and that is the music which reawakens the memories from times gone by in my history, that triggers the memories in the same way that smell can. These songs or tunes need not be the best in the world, or the most awe-inspiring - they may even be the songs of a past era that are now scorned or ridiculed. No matter what they are, however, there is something about these songs which cause my whole being to go back to a particular memory, recapturing the sense of a place or an emotion.

1. One of my earliest memories are of my dad playing the Beatles or Don Williams in his white Beetle. Songs like I've Got A Winner In You, or It Must Be Love just triggers the rides in the Beetle to school or driving somewhere with my dad and my middle sister.
2. When I was a little older (in the eighties), Mango Groove became popular in South Africa - anytime I pop in a Mango Groove CD or it pops up on my iPod it takes me straight back to primary school.
3. Another artist which takes me back is Johnny Clegg and his song Great Heart of Africa. This was a song from the soundtrack of the movie Jock of the Bushveld, a well known South African tale about the relationship between a dog and his owner.
4. ABBA brings back winter nights lying in front of the fire, reading a book or doing some other little play-project we had concoted, the smells of an african fire to which there is no comparison.
5. Queen - their Greatest Hits I was the first tape I got for Christmas, right after Freddie Mecury died.
6. Once I hit high school, I found Roxette (Joyride, Fading Like A Flower and How Do You Do) and Bon Jovi (Bad Medicine), the groups I associate the most with that short period in my life. Also the soundtrack from Dirty Dancing.
7. Moving to the States. Hearing Bryan Adams brings back feelings of homesickness and the complete state of los that I felt in those first few months. The complete disconnect that I experienced emotionally is rampant for me in this music. Wierd, huh? Yes, you can make fun of me for that.
8. High school in the States was definitely a broader mix including Coolio's Gangsta's Paradise, Ace of Base (The Sign), Blues Traveler (Run Around), and Dave Matthews Band (Satellite).
9. College years can be summoned back with Ella Fitzgerald or the opera Elixir of Love by Donizetti.
10. My relationship with my husband - definitely too hard to pin down to a few. He made me four tapes during the first year of our relationship, the first song on the first tape being Chicago (You're the Inspiration). We used this for our first dance at our wedding
11. We broke up for three months after two years and with the sort of humor that my husband has, he compiled a break-up CD for my birthday. I can hardly bear to listen to this CD as it brings back the emotions of that period all too well. I know he is very proud of this collection he put together - and he should be, it's a great collection. It just makes me sad. The songs on it include Adam Sandler's Somebody Kill Me Please from the The Wedding Singer (way to open with a sucker punch!) and some Chicago songs about breaking up that hit me to the core. It does end on a hopeful note, however.
12. Summer 2000 - On a family trip in Namibia, my uncle was held at gunpoint before he was saved by strangers driving by. The song playing on my CD player at the time was I Think God Can Explain by Splendor.
13. Summer 2001 - Mike and I took a road trip out to the Four Corners area together after graduation. We listened to Dave Matthews Band's Lillywhite Sessions, which ultimately became Busted.
14. Just before my sister's graduation we sat around the kitchen table and watched her belt out Toby Keith's I Wanna Talk About Me.
15. Our friends' weddings - Fat Little Pug and ForeverTick's wedding dance was Ben Folds' The Luckiest, Monk and Lingall's dance was If You Could See What I See by Geoff Moore and the Distance.

This is like dipping a hook into a jar of more hooks - you pull out another, and then that one hooks onto another, and then another... I'll stop here. But I find it fascinating that my life can be remembered through song. It's like smell - a certain note, a certain chord or line brings back memories instantly. Every now and then I’ll be driving somewhere listening to the radio, and I’ll hear a song on the TV which will bring up a long-forgotten memory.

All hail the power of song!

the weekend is almost over

Very sad. What's even sadder is that of my goals this weekend, I have only really accomplished two - cleaning the study and cleaning the house. Painting is still on hiatus and the running was sort of dificult yesterday because of the snow, but today I did some Pilates instead.

Now I'm off to my parents' house in an hour or so to spend the evening with my father, whose birthday was on Friday.

goals

goals for this weekend:

• run four miles.
  
• clean the house.
  
• organize the study.
  
• get started on a painting i've been thinking about.

not terribly exciting, but hey, it's life work, right?

quote of the day

Action may not always bring happiness;

but there is no happiness without action.

Benjamin Disraeli

bleck.

There is nothing like turning in your resignation to find out how people truly feel about you - and to find out what you're going to miss the most in a company or job.

into the frey

I just have to post my 2 cents about the whole James Frey debacle. The whole idea of being upset because a book is not accurate when it is a memoir is ridiculous.

Repeat after me: Memoir. Memory. Memoir. Memory.

A memory is not accurate, no matter how much you want to believe that it is. When you throw drugs into the mix, how on earth can you expect one's memory to be accurate? Who remembers things clearly when one is clean and sober? I personally do not remember every little detail of what happened to me yesterday and I'm clean and sober. If I were to recount my Sunday experience, it would certainly deviate from the truth even while I believe that what I am writing is one hundred percent accurate. And has anyone remembered the matter of point of view? Everyone has their own perception of life and events and not one person's account out of thirty people who experienced the same event would be the same.

What Frey has done is taken his experience - his overwhelming triumphant, positive emergence from a black hole of drug-induced state of being - and interpreted it so that others might find hope in their own situations.

Yes, I am reading A Million Little Pieces, not because of the scandal that broke right as I received it, and not because I believe it to be fiction or non fiction. I am reading this book because I have heard that the writing in it is excellent. That's enough for me.

who says friday 13th is unlucky?

Well, the 13th is turning into a lucky date for me.

I got married on the 13th.

And today I received a job offer! Whoo-hoo! I am going to accept it once we've talked counter-offer. Bonus - it takes off 20 miles or so off of my current commute and I won't have to fork out mucho money for the IPASS system anymore. I wasn't really looking, but I guess it was meant to be. After that huge rant I had the other day, I suppose it's ironic that I am feeling sad and apprehensive about leaving my current job. It's been such a learning experience and they do take care of their employees but I truly feel that they are not using me to my fullest and somewhat ignoring me. I suppose in a way I've hit the glass ceiling in the company. This new job will be more challenging and more structured, and definitely a step closer to finding more direction. And I won't have to be the front desk person anymore.

Not sure when my last day will be - this still needs to be negotiated with my new company.

does walgreens fill this?

courtesy of chicken

disclaimer:

my life is going pretty well right now

- i just thought this was hilarious

existence

I was just checking on my site hits. I am particularly interested in where people are when they stumble on my blog. And in conjunction with something I saw on a myspace blog about why people blog - my thoughts formulated into this:

People blog for all sorts of reasons. Fundamentally, they are looking for some sort of attention, a "hey, I'm here" kind of cry. The fact that I have people in places like Alaska, England and Japan, who read my blog is astounding to me. There are people out there who know that I exist. They don't necessarily know me, but they have somehow acknowledged my existence.

Makes me feel a little less insignificant in this huge world of ours.

great start

I hate those days when I roll over, hit the snooze button, and then oversleep because I've forgotten to reset my phone alarm. It doesn't help that it is a dark, wet and rainy day outside. Luckily these days happen about once in a very blue moon, and this week is my late week at work, so I can get to work later and not be in trouble.

It's no fun driving to work five minutes after one wakes up.

kittenwars: bring it on!

So I have ten minutes or so left at work and I decided I should just add this website to my links.

May I introduce:

KITTENWARS

also known as cuteness.overload.com.

meme

Courtesy of zuzu's petals.

What were you doing ten years ago?
Ten years ago, in 1996, I was in high school and eagerly anticipating my transition to college. I was eyebrow-deep in theatre and I think at the time we were probably working on Singin' in the Rain and how to destroy the school's stage with real-life rain.

What were you doing one year ago?
Gearing up for the last few months before our wedding. We were visiting our townhome alot and having a lot of fun making decisions on new items and color-schemes for our new house. We work well together as a decorating team. And adjusting to new changes at work.

Five snacks you enjoy

• Laughing Cow cheese wedges
• Fruit (Apples and oranges in particular)
• Soft chewy ooey-gooey chocolate chip cookies
• Chocolate
• Nachos and salsa

Five songs to which you know all the lyrics

• I Wanna Talk About Me - Toby Keith
• Somebody to love - Queen
• You're the Inspiration - Chicago
• That's When I Love You - Phil Vassar
• Alcohol (and many other songs) - Brad Paisley

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire

• Travel
• Buy a house and decorate it
• Pay off my parents' mortgage
• Get my sisters something that they really want/need
• Save

Five bad habits

• Chocolate
• Staying up past my bedtime
• I'm quick to react
• Leaving dishes to be done "till later"
• Lack of communication with people/family in my life

Five things you like doing

• Reading
• Writing
• Painting
• Napping
• Riding horses

Five things you would never wear or buy again

• Short shorts (think Daisy Dukes)
• Tanks with shelf bras
• Culottes
• Anything with clingy material that shows every flaw
• Capris (have you seen how those look on me?)

Five favorite toys

• Ipod
• Mac with all my design programs on it
• Canon Rebel SLR
• Mike's digital camera
• Tivo (does Tivo count? we just got it and I love it!)

one year older and a breath of fresh air

I am officially a year older now, well past my early twenties and just leaving my mid-twenties! Thirty isn't so far away anymore. Eeek!

I wanted some fresh air and exercise so Mike and I went for a walk in the afternoon in the Springbrook Prairie Preserve, in an area we'd not been to before near the new dog park. We ended up walking briskly for an hour on the new trail in wonderfully warm temperatures and soft golden winter light. I love the feeling of fresh crisp air opening up my lungs and the blood in my veins going from sluggish to flowing. The feeling of being out in the open, in nature, is fantastic even if it is a small piece of land hugged by 75th and 87th/83rd and divided by Book Road. Here in suburban Chicagoland living it is easy to forget the majesty and pure beauty of nature, something I try to recall occasionally by simply looking up and appreciating the beauty of an Illinois sky.

I hope during the next year I can spend returning a little more to nature than I have in the past few years.

slow

time

is



c r a w l i n g



today.

speech festival

See the Kitten On the Wall

See the kitten on the wall,

Sporting with the leaves that fall.

Withered leaves - one - two - three

From the lofty elder tree.

Though the calm and frosty air,

Of this morning bright and fair.

Eddying round and round they sink,

Softly, slowly; one might think.

From the motions that are made,

Every little leaf conveyed

Sylph or Faery hither tending,

To this lower world descending.

Each invisible and mute,

In his wavering parachute.

But the Kitten, how she starts,

Crouches, stretches, paws, and darts!

First at one, and then its fellow,

Just as light and just as yellow.

There are many now - now one,

Now they stop and there are none.

What intenseness of desire,

In her upward eye of fire!

With a tiger-leap half-way,

Now she meets the coming prey.

Lets it go as fast, and then;

Has it in her power again.

Now she works with three or four,

Like an Indian conjurer;

Quick as he in feats of art,

Far beyond in joy of heart.

Where her antics played in the eye,

Of a thousand standers-by,

Clapping hands with shout and stare,

What would little Tabby care

For the plaudits of the crowd?

William Wordsworth

* * *

We had the opportunity to participate in Speech Festival every year while I was in Primary School. You would pick out a poem of a certain length, learn it by heart, and recite it for a panel of adjudicators. They weren't judges, they were adjudicators. I can remember learning that word when receiving my marks for my first ever recitation. You could receive Gold, Silver or Bronze, and with a variety of plus-marks added on. You didn't even have to recite poetry. There were other parts of the competition which I never did.

Waiting for the classroom door to open for your own recital to begin was almost worse than the actual experience. I think it worked up my nerves - usually ending up by gabbling my lines to myself while I waited with an ever-increasing feeling of inevibility. One year I couldn't pluck up the courage to look at the adjudicators lined up in front of me so I stared at the corner of the room. I learned my lesson - that mistake cost me a Gold. There was also the fear of having the same poem as someone else. Even back then, I wanted to make sure I would pick something "different." I would gaze longly at lighter-hearted Roald Dahl poems or the more dramatic fire-and-brimstone styles, but always rejected them because they were too long. I would get a little jealous when one of my school-fellows would step up and start to recite one of Dahl's versions of fairytales. But there were always a few of the same poems being recited and I don't recall anyone ever repeating the ones I had picked. But among the poems I recited, this was one of them which I will never forget. I can still recite the first few lines. Yet another way I am still linked to my ever-receding childhood in South Africa.

cultivations 2006

I like fat little pug's idea of cultivations rather than resolutions. Every year I would come up with something that would inevitably fail within a few weeks or months. 2004 was different. At the beginning of the year - I decided to try to change my lifestyle and become more fit and healthy. Not necessarily to lose weight, though that would be a bonus. I had achieved some success with joining an exercise class for two sessions in 2004 but I felt I wasn't quite there so my idea in February 2005 was to try a diet change - not a diet, per se, but to change what I ate permanently. By August 2005, with the help of my exercise class and the South Beach Diet, I was feeling the best I ever had - I could run a mile in just over seven minutes and I had lost inches.

Now, with the motivation of the wedding behind me, I am struggling to maintain this "lifestyle change" I had so set my heart on. Therefore, my main cultivation is to run an 8k with my dad (and to step less on the scale). My goal is the Shamrock Shuffle in early April.

My other cultivations:

1. Cultivate my friendships with the people in my life.
2. Paint more, even if it is a 4"x4" color wash on the weekends.
3. Stay in contact with my family as they spread out over the globe.

Great idea, Pug. Hope it works out for all those with resolutions or cultivations this year.

Happy New Year!

So I'm a little late--but better late than never. I would like to wish all my friends and family a wonderful and happy 2006!

This past year has been one of many changes for me. I got married, built a new house, made new friends, and maintained old ones. It's been a wonderful year, personally. And none of it would have been the same without any of my wonderful friends and family. My husband has been the center of this last year for me and I look forward to celebrating our one year anniversary this year.